Frog the Pony

uvg

Session was played on 15 September 2023.

Introduction

Last session we had was in April, so it's been quite awhile, but we're finally back! This time with lots of new faces too.

Where we last left off, the group had just encountered a crowd of Bluelanders surrounding and shouting obscenities at a rather stylish-looking stagecoach.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.
Garth Dwarf Unionist A blue-bearded dwarf that sold out his union for a grudge.
Oozlon Pink Bard Plays a guitar which somehow is always horribly out-of-tune.
Severus Killdeere Anthropology Assistant Academic that complains about having his stipend cut off. Has a bowl-cut unironically.

And of course we cannot forget our lovely referee NonDairyGiant.

Playing Both Sides

After a long journey, the party was just a day out from the Violet City. On the road up ahead their path was blocked by a medium-sized, rather elegantly designed stagecoach pulled up front by two, meticulously groomed Clydesdale horses. Moreso than the carriage itself though, what stood out most was the large crowd which had amassed itself around. There seemed to be about thirty Bluelanders all shouting various obscenities at the carriage, ranging from, “Thief!”, “Criminal!”, “Extortionist!”, to simply saying “You suck!”

As the group got closer, a few of them started to get closer to the mob to investigate what this was about. Those in the mob seemed more interested in shouting rather than talking, that is save for a rather unenthusiastic looking man. He would barely jeer, shouting the occasional “Yeah you tell 'em!”, but seemed to view this more as a social event than anything. At being prompted, he happily started to share what their issues were.

“Man, this is bullshit. These cat lords are jacking up the prices, they are monopolising the supply, and it's just not right. We're honest people, but this is just getting ridiculous. If they don't at least say something, this could get ugly”

A disgruntled Bluelander.

Electrochromia, the front of their body a charred, sickly mess from radiation exposure, asks if one of the cat lords is in the wagon. “Oh yeah, I think one of the big ones is in there,” the man replied, going on and on about the various things the cat lord did to deserve their ire.

As Electrochromia probed for more information, a tall, somewhat academic-looking fellow with a bowl cut approached. He had been standing on the sidelines the whole time taking notes, but just now had walked toward the party.

“Excuse me, my name is Severus Killdeere. If I might ask, what are your intentions here?” Through conversation, it seemed Severus had also been wronged by this cat lord. Apparently this specific cat had headed up an economic body that provided research grants and stipends. Severus, as a recipient of the prestigious Piscine Fellowship (sponsored by this cat lord), was conducting research downriver from the main lake, working on his research project, creatively titled “Fish and Fishing Culture Among Native Grasslanders”. Once he had arrived though, his stipend was abruptly reneged upon with no forewarning.

“My stipend was a poultry sum compared to which these Bluelanders have been denied,” Severus continued, “But it nevertheless reveals this cat lord to be a great purveyor of injustice.”

“Mmmm, an academic it seems,” Electrochromia observed, unable to hide the disdain in their voice, “Always talk talk talk, yet no action.”

As Electrochromia went on, Severus took vociferous notes, jotting down things such as “Judgemental. Arrogant. Porcelain Prince. Sick?” The back-and-forth between the two went on for some time, with Electrochromia being quite dismissive and judgemental while Severus continued to take notes.

The Rabble-Rouser

Eventually their attention turned to a handsome, young, muscular guy with a loud voice, passionately shouting atop an overturned wooden box. He seemed to be dressed a bit nicer than the rest of the crowd, but still quite simple compared to the extravagance of the carriage. He shouted loudly, his voice carrying over the crowrd, decrying the depravity of the cat lords.

“These felines sit in their palaces and villas, hard work totally unknown to them, and yet decide to raise the price of cat coffee! Why you may ask? Because they felt like it. There has been NO increase in cost, and NO supply costs to justify the price increase. WE are the ones who work day and night tirelessly, yet the cat lords are not satisfied with what they have. They want MORE, jacking up the prices of one of the few luxuries we have.”

He goes on and on listing how the cat lords have conspired to oppress them and how they now gather to demand the cat come out and face the people.

Asking around, the party was able to learn that the cat lord in the carriage, cat lord Zarca, is one of the senior members of “Federation of Violetland Coffee Producers”, which is commonly regarded as a cartel . The federation is officially run by Rainbowlanders, but everyone knows that the ones really behind the scenes are the cat lords.

Seeing the opportunity, Electrochromia walked up to the Bluelander on the wooden box to see if they could come to an agreement. Together they agreed on the following plan: Electrochromia will request an official audience with the cat lord, meanwhile the mob continues to jostle and heckle the carriage; then, once done, the group will disperse, Electrochromia sharing any valuable intel they were able to acquire in exchange for lodging in Violet City.

Going back to the group, the idea is pitched. Severus is instantly skeptical, saying, “Does Electrochromia speak for the rest of you in this decision? I know he is a polybody, but his one mouth is already enough”

Oozlon Pink, with his out-of-tune guitar on his back, shrugs, saying, “Well, I'm not really the best with people anyway, so I'd probably mess it up if I went.”

Electrochromia smiles mockingly at Severus as if to say, “I told you.” Severus then tries to advocate for himself joining in on the delegation, to which Electrochromia responds, “Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure if I like you yet. I've met a few academics before and none of them knew how to keep their mouth shut. How about you just stay here and I'll think about it for later, hmmm?”

It wasn't mentioned, but the reason for Electrochromia's insistence on going in alone was because they figured that a deal might be made to screw over the Bluelanders, and seeing as Severus had so quickly come to the Bluelander's defense earlier, Electrochromia didn't want to take any risks in messing up a potential deal.

A Meeting with a Cat

Upon reaching the side door of the carriage, Electrochromia steped up the metal steps leading to the door. Just as they were about to knock, the driver shouted back “keep your hands to your self, peasant!”. Electrochromia quickly retorted that they are in fact a Porcelain Prince on official business to meet with the cat lord, and that he should watch his tongue.

At that, after waiting for about a minute, the door unlocked. Inside the carriage is not what one might expect. Rather than the two benches of a standard stagecoach, there instead was a singular singular bench along the long wall directly facing the door. The bench is of a heavy hardwood with a guided platform in its centre, on which sits an all-white cat with its front paws tucked under its body and little horns barely noticeable. To the right quietly sat an average-looking Rainbowlander almost lifeless, their eyes open and staring blankly forward.

A soft, but almost melodious voice purred in Electrochromia's head, “A prince this far East, eh? So, what have you come here for? To rescue me away and charge some exorbitant rate?”

“No no no, you misunderstand my Lord Zarca,” Electrochromia said in response, feigning insult, “I come here merely to offer you... a proposition. I see your cart here has been surrounded by an uncivilised mob, so I come to make a suggestion. Me and my party will disperse the mob, letting you get to wherever you need to go, while in return, we might have some fruitful business in the future. I am a well-connected Prince and you a powerful Cat Lord. Imagine how profitable it might be to coordinate to our mutual betterment.”

The details are discussed for some time, with the cat lord initially skeptical, but eventually they are able to come to a mutual understanding.

Just as they were about to leave, the cat lord said to the seemingly lifeless man in the corner, “Edgar, give this man a card.”

The Rainbowlander handed Electrochromia a card with a blank look in his eyes, before settling back into his corner. The card was printed on a radiant pink paper with gold-foil lettering featuring an address.

“I'm quite busy these next few days,” Zarca purred, “but feel free to make an appointment and we can meet later to discuss business.”

Upon leaving the carriage, Electrochromia motioned for Giorgus, the rabble-rouser atop the wooden box, to disperse the crowd. They briefly talked to discuss the details, planning to meet the next day at noon. The man then turns to the crowd, announcing, “This melty-face guy got us a deal. We will meet to discuss the details tomorrow, but for now we will let this cat piece of shit go back to the toilet or wherever they hell they are going. Whatever happens though, we will never stop fighting.”

With that last sentence, the man raised a fist in defiance, and then started to head back to the city, the rest of the mob gradually following suit. As soon as the crowd dispersed, the carriage jolted down the road at full speed, seemingly not wanting to wait to see if the crowd changed their mind.

Now having gotten themselves an in with two competing interests—the Bluelanders and the cat lords respectively—the party continued on to the Violet City.

Entering the City

Severus, having decided to join the group, at least for the time being, is given a dozen or so papers to sign to formalise his entry. Each new member of the party has to sign a variety of legal documents which have been drafted up by Electrochromia. They are relatively straightforward, establishing the sharing of all belonging and working for the common good of the group, but the last of the papers stood out as it specified that, in event of death, all rights to the carcass are ceded to Electrochromia to do with as they please.

On the way to the city, they stopped briefly at the Last Chair Saloon to finally, finally pay off their debt. They had initially loaned $800 for a trade run, but at 20% interest weekly, their debt had ballooned to a total of $1920 ($800 principle plus $1120 for 7 weeks of accumulated interest). Now it was finally paid off.

Having secured a place to stay through their agreement with Giorgus, the group made their way directly to the Exile Camp, which was situated outside the city walls. The buildings were mostly low, flat stone structures with the occasional animal pen abutting to it. The camp felt in some ways akin to an open-air bazaar, admixed with the strong stench of animals and of cat coffee.

Getting into town, they recognised people from the mob earlier in the day. It seemed that they were expected, but not exactly welcome. Everyone was giving them dirty looks and acted as if their presence was an incredible inconvenience. Eventually they were able to find someone that led them to an empty shack to stay in. He said quite simply “lock up anything you don't want stolen,” despite the fact that the door had no locks.

Over the next week, the party regrouped, each doing a particular task. Severus started on some market research along the route between the Steppe of the Lime Nomads, Porcelain Citadel, and The Last Serai, looking specifically into the joy worm trade (joy worms are symbiotic worm-like creatures that release endorphins into its host; traditionally implanted into labourers to increase passivity and make unruly workers more docile). There was normal demand for joy worms in the lime nomad steppe, and high demand in both the Porcelain Citadel and The Last Serai.

Garth headed to the market and bought himself a bow.

The rest of the group, still undecided on how to best spend their time, decided to take the night off, to decide what to do the following morning (i.e. next session).

Our travels for the session.


While much has transpired over the past 7 weeks, it was almost as if they were back in the same position as when they started. They were still $10,000 in dept to the cat cafe and only had radiation poisoning, and a broken motorcycle to show for it.

Caravan Inventory Tracking

Items which are large enough to be tallied on the caravan sheet are counted in number of sacks. Each member of the caravan must consume one sack of supply per session.

Given that the inventory can vary throughout the course of play, note that anything marked with a '+' is something gained this session, while anything marked with a '–' is something lost this session.

Capacity: 13
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 3   Ramshackle Cart
 4   Party (1 slot per person)
 0   Broken motorcycle (pulled like trailer)
----------
Load: 7
 6  supply, basic
 1  fancy projector cube

Cash and Debt

Cash:
 $4304
-$1920  (paying off debt to Last Chair Saloon)
-$20    (bow for Garth)
=
Total
 $2364

Debt:
 $11920
-$1920  (paying off debt to Last Chair Saloon)
Total
 $10000

#UVG #ActualPlay

Session was played on 14 April 2023.

Introduction

As you can see from the note up top, this session was actually played all the way back in April of this year. I had taken notes in-session, but for various reasons I hadn't actually gone through and edited it until today. Now that we had another session as well this past Friday, I hope to get into a more regular posting schedule again.

Where we left off last session, the party had just finished looting the glass house, having left in haste due to occasional tremors in the earth which seemed to escalate the longer they stayed. They now set off on the long road back to the Violet City by way of the Porcelain Citadel.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
Angus McMasters Anthropology Assistant An inquisitive student of anthropology whose research has been put on hold after his advisor was executed by a band of “flamboyant” scavengers.
Bangle Wizard Slayer Comes from a family of potato farmers that were driven out of business when a wizard came to town and created an infinite potato well. Just graduated wizard slaying school to get his revenge, but is now buried in student debt.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.

And of course we cannot forget our lovely referee NonDairyGiant.

A Chance at Redemption

After escaping from the glass house with their ill-gotten gains, the party headed back to Potsherd Crater. Among the items they had “appropriated” was a sack of wooden signs engraved with poetry, an ivory table, a set of fancy china dinnerware, 8 bars of silver, an arcane cube that worked as a movie projector, a bakelite unicorn head, and a broken-down motorcycle they hoped could maybe to salvaged to rebuild THE POWER, the beloved motorcycle of EAGLE which had been unceremoniously trashed by a group of thugs. It was about a day's travel to the crater, but the time went by quickly as everyone was watching various films using the projector cube.

Upon arrival, they once again noticed the miners at the quarry, though this time it seemed they were on break. Getting up close, they looked vaguely alarming. Heavily armed and armoured, they wore what looked like a cross between a stealth suit and an old diving suit, their suits big and bulky, flat and angular, along with a large, almost organic-looking rifle slung on their backs. The miners were grouped up looking over their El Camino-esc. car which was laden with a full load of rocks of a deep red hue which reflected the light.

The waterlogged miner's quarry.

Also hanging out at the quarry, keeping his distance, was a tall, lanky fellow with what seemed to be a large book protruding from his sack. He wore glasses and was quite pale, a wide-brimmed hat atop his head to protect himself from the sun. He was doing research for his manuscript titled “Self in the Poly-Ego Mind: Porcelain Princes and Identity,” but the research had been on hiatus ever since his advisor was executed by some rather “flamboyant” scavengers.

One of the members of the group, Bangle—a large, muscular barbarian with flowing pink hair holding a unicorn head—stood forward, loudly proclaiming, “Hello everyone!”

The miners all turned their attention and simply stared at him for some time. After a long pause, one of the miners unbuckled the front of his helmet to speak, barking “What the hell do you want?”

Bangle and the miners talked for a short time, from which he learned that the miners were in fact mining sanguine porcelain, which was prized for its pigments and carvings of a deep, fiery red colour.

As that conversation was unfolding, the tall, lanky fellow walked over and started to ask Electrochromia some questions, revealing that he studied Porcelain Princes and would love to speak with them. At first Electrochromia went white, concerned that they might be exposed, but then the thought came to their mind that this guy might be useful to potentially make their entry into the Porcelain Citadel easier.

Eventually the decision is made for Angus to join the group as they make their way towards the Porcelain Citadel. Bangle, always excited for a new friend, shouted, “Huzzah!” as he waved around his magnificent mail-order sword in the air (that sword made up a large part of his debt).

Their journey back was mostly uneventful, save for the strong winds. The group had to cover their eyes as best they could to protect against the large amounts of cinder and ash in the air which oddly had the smell of cinnamon. A pair of big, scary, gorilla-shaped golems were also seen in the distance, but the party made sure to avoid them.

Return to the Porcelain Palace

They finally arrived to the Citadel at daybreak. Angus, ecstatic at seeing the Citadel for the first time, exclaimed “Wowie, I finally made it! Poor Professor MacGoglee, how he didn't get to see this. Poor Professor MacGoglee...”

A bird's eye view of the Porcelain Citadel, showing the surrounding points of interest.

Once on site, the group rented a room at the Lowest Line for $3 and then split up to do a variety of tasks. Wanting to offload their stolen goods as soon as possible, Bangle spent some time at “Your Life Burns Faster in This House,” a local bar known for its eccentric clientele, spending $60 over the course of a few days to grease some wheels, trying to find some buyers for their loot. He was able to sell the 8 bars of silver for $2000, the blanket for $50, the poetry plaques for $200, the ivory table for $400, and the china dinnerware for $500, making a gross total of $3,150. In preparation for the journey back East to the Violet City, he also bought 7 sacks of supplies for $14 total ($2 each).

After finalising the deals for the loot, Bangle started to ask around trying to look for wizards. He found an old man rambling about the evil immortal wizards that controlled the city, enslaving their minds and bodies to their nefarious ends. Apparently, the wizards controlled everything: the Violet City was run by cats, which were clearly wizards; the nomads were lead by shamans, which of course were wizards; and the Citadel was ruled by Princes, which, naturally, were also said to be wizards.

A Meeting with Messian

Meanwhile, Electrochromia hatched a plan to meet with their former mentor in an attempt to get back into good graces. In their youth, Electrochromia was a protege to Messian 13-Unity, leader of a fanatic faction which had the aim of bringing everyone into Porcelain Princedom and bringing back the thought of the properly recorded period. Their beliefs stipulated that only poly-bodies should be permitted in the Citadel, but rather than expelling all the non-poly-bodies, Messian advocated for everyone being made into poly-bodies. Though Messian also had a strict code of ethics, so when he discovered that Electrochromia had lied in claiming to be a Prince, Messian scarred them in retributive justice, forever damaging Electorchromia's memory to this day.

Despite their violent expulsion, Electrochromia, now severely irradiated, was desperate to try and become an actual, real Porcelain Prince, in order to get a new body instead of slowly dying these next few years of radiation poisoning (Porcelain Princes have a single consciousness that is shared among many bodies, allowing them to survive even if one of their bodies dies).

So while the rest of the party was buying-and-selling or doing whatever they needed, Electrochromia decided to sneak into the underground tunnels linking the various offices of the Princes. Messian's office was centrally located due to him being one of the key members in the governing bodies, so the journey was quite treacherous with a high likelihood of getting caught. Eventually though, having barely avoided detection, Electrochromia finally was able to reach the familiar villa of their old master.

The tunnel opened up into a large cavern, in which a coral villa had grown surrounded by a meticulously manicured garden. The premises were guarded by large, stone defense golems with dead eyes and a yellow orb in the centre of their foreheads. Being careful to not be noticed by the golems, Electrochromia snuck up to the front door, which was locked. Adjacent to the door was a magitech doorbell in the shape of a stone face.

Upon ringing the doorbell, the voice of Messian came through, the stone mouth of the doorbell moving in sync with his words. At hearing Electrochromia's voice, Messian spat in disgust, warning the pretender to leave at once before he called the guards. With some convincing though, Messian with time calmed down, though still with a strong sense honour preventing him from directly helping.

Sensing Electrochromia's desperation, he confided in a whisper that he knew of a possible path for redemption, though it would require subterfuge. Further out in the wastes, near the South-Facing Passage, was the refuge of a Prince that had cast off all association with the Citadel. This Prince had a fortress on the plains which he shared with his Satrap partner. Of all the Princes, this was the only one Messian knew of that would be willing to take a chance on a known pretender like Electrochromia. His name was Pineous 3-Drum of the Puse House.

With newfound purpose, Electrochromia carefully made their way out of the tunnels undetected, hoping beyond hope that somehow they might at last be able to become an actual Porcelain Prince.

The Long Road to Violet City

As they made their way away from the Citadel, the weather took a turn for the worse. Infrequent, inconsistent winds carrying with them a bitter, sour rain started to batter them. They all found themselves in the next few days with a rattling cough which lasted for about a week. A few days away from their next stop, they passed by a half dozen slender rabbits with chitinous protuberances blocking their path, which they summarily walked around.

After long, sickly days on the road, the group arrived at the Low Road and the High in late afternoon. The site was the convergence of two roads: the low road, which emanated from the Violet City, and the high road, which was an old, decaying highway, the ruins of which had been used to make this the site of a semi-active trading spot.

The party set up camp to stay the night there before then regrouping and continuing onto Violet City in the morning. That night each took turns taking watch by a small campfire to make sure no scavengers tried to rob them in their sleep. Angus, on his watch, decided it was a good time to smoke up some purple haze while everyone else was asleep, so they hopefully wouldn't notice. In the midst of his high, he heard a sharp, canine howl in the distance, scaring him half to death. Not sure if it was the drugs or an actual beast, he ducked behind one of the mules and waited. There was again silence for a few minutes before abruptly being broke by a symphony of howls, closer this time and all round them.

Bangle woke up with a jolt, his hair instantly changing colour to black: stealth mode. Large dogs resembling Tazmanian tigers crept forward, their faces hyena-like with a distinctly predatory appearance, large pointy teeth gleaning in the low light with their tongues hanging out hungrily.

Once realising the beasties were in fact real and that he wasn't hallucinating it all, Angus seized forward, grabbing one of the sticks from the open fire and waving it defiantly at the creatures, the drugs numbing his senses as the flaming stick charred his palm. The dogs, clearly seeing the crazed look in Angus' eyes, ran away back into the darkness.

The night went by uneventfully after that, but not wanting to take any chances, they all packed up and were on the road before dawn. As they started on their final leg towards the Violet City, the sun rose through the violet haze slowly and reluctantly. The further along they went, the more they started to notice a change in the air. It gradually became more and more humid, almost as if rain was to come, yet no rain came.

A few days went by until they reached a point where the road was blocked up ahead. In the distance they could make out a small stagecoach pulled by two large, muscled horses. Surrounding the carriage was a mob of what looked to be Bluelanders, a population seen as degenerates and criminals which had long ago moved to Violet City as refugees.

Not sure how to approach the situation, the group held back for some time to discuss their next course of action.

Our travels for the session.


In the last few days before arriving at the stagecoach, Electrochromia had an upsetting realisation. Throughout their travels so far they had been using a set of standard metal cutlery. Recently the cutlery had started to become strangely bendable, which initially Electrochromia had dismissed simply as wear and tear. That was until one night, over a bowl of hot soup, they were left in complete shock when half of their spoon had completely dissolved. It took them awhile to put all the piece together, but after a little experimentation it became clear that it was in fact their saliva which had been corroding the cutlery. Electrochromia made sure to keep this discovery to themselves, but it seemed this radiation changing them in ways still yet unknown.

Caravan Inventory Tracking

Items which are large enough to be tallied on the caravan sheet are counted in number of sacks. Each member of the caravan must consume one sack of supply per session.

Given that the inventory can vary throughout the course of play, note that anything marked with a '+' is something gained this session, while anything marked with a '–' is something lost this session.

Capacity: 12
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 3   Ramshackle Cart
 3   Party (1 slot per person)
 0   Broken motorcycle (pulled like trailer)
----------
Load: 7
Sold loot from the glass house
 -1   wooden engraved signs wrapped in blanket
 -1   unicorn statue head
 -1   fancy china dinnerware
 -1   8 bars of silver
 -1   ivory table

 8  supply, basic
-9  supply, basic
+7  supply, basic
=
Total
6 supplies, basic
1 fancy projector cube

Cash and Debt

Cash:
 $1231
+$3150  (selling all the loot)
-$60    (greasing wheels at bar)
-$3     (Staying at the Low Line)
-$14    (buy 7 supplies, $2 each)
=
Total
 $4304

Debt:
 $11280
+$640   (interest from loan)
Total
 $11920

#UVG #ActualPlay

Session was played on 7 April 2023.

Introduction

After failing to get far in the radioactive bunker last session, the caravan is now headed to The Porcelain Citadel, home of the trade aristocrats know as the Porcelain Princes. The Princes are far removed from the reality of everyday life in the opulent upper levels of the citadel and have spread their consciousness' amongst several, often many bodies. They are aggressively lavish hedonists who know nothing of work or toil and live only for experience. Though given their position as traders, those that spend more of their time traversing the Grasslands can be quite astute and knowledgeable.

Both Electrochromia 2-Step as well as Klort, a new member to the party, were in their past discovered to be frauds, outcast from the Citadel for their crimes. While it is not explored as much this session, this is something that will likely haunt the party going forward.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
Bangle Wizard Slayer Comes from a family of potato farmers that were driven out of business when a wizard came to town and created an infinite potato well. Just graduated wizard slaying school to get his revenge, but is now buried in student debt.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.
Klort Porcelain Pretender Went to the Citadel to try and become a Porcelain Prince, but was found out to be a fraud. Is now mentally scarred after being shown enigmatic images of his death.
Rick Danger Rod Racer Was a hot-shot electric horse racer. Performed a once-in-a-lifetime stunt that wrecked his ride; and he would do it again.

We Made New Friends

After a two day journey, the caravan finally arrived to the Citadel, home of the Porcelain Princes. The structure was made of drystone coral that has been meticulously shaped into the form of a hand.

The Porcelain Citadel

Surrounding the Citadel were a number of smaller buildings and districts. There was the Broken Line, which was where the bodies of deceased servants were stored to be “repurposed.” Then there was the Two Serais, which were two large trading posts – one of which was controlled by the Princes and the other controlled by the Spectrum Satrap. With Electrochromia though in need of some urgent rest, they decided to go to the Lowest Line: dead coral shacks reserved for outlanders and visitors (essentially functioning as hostels).

There were already three different people in their assigned shack, each occupying a different bunk in the shared accommodations. The first one, Klort, looked to be a Prince, though they did not seem to be in good spirits. Even as others walked past, he continued to stare off into the distance, curled up in the fetal position, rocking slowly back and forth while sucking his thumb. He was still haunted from being shown images of his death as punishment.

Art of Klort made by Chaoclypse.

There was also Rick, an older guy with a scruffy beard wearing sunglasses, despite the fact they were indoors. He held an ice pack to his head looking pretty worse for wear. What stood out most about him though was his cape with go-fast stripes on it.

Then finally there was Bangle, a man of long flowing hair that seemed to change colour depending on his mood. He came from a proud family of potato farmers, renowned for their bespoked potatoes which would have customised nutrients specific to the needs of the customer. They were run out of business though when a wizard came along and made a well that fished out infinite potatoes. Because of that he went to school to become a certified wizard slayer, but now he is broke and in debt.

The rest of the party;
Art also made by Chaoclypse.

Electrochromia at this point saw this as an opportunity. The glass house—the estate of a recently deceased trade baron that they heard early rumours about in first session—should still have some things to loot before word spreads of the baron's death. But due to the radiation poisoning, Electrochromia was not in a state to go without extra assistance. So after some discussion, the four of them (Electrochromia, Klort, Rick, and Bangle) decided to work together for a time.

After a day's rest, the party headed to the Two Serais to get some supplies. Due to their murky past with the Princes, they decided to go to the Satrap market. The clean, smooth surfaces of the Prince market were replaced with a rainbow of bright colours and shining lights. The Satraps were not like any people the group had seen before; bipedal humanoids all wearing hefty radiation suites (Electrochromia could have used that earlier) with their faces obscured. Rather than hauling their supplies in on carts, they had stilt-legged walkers which seemed to be powered by glimmering crystals.

The first thought they had was to try and sell one of the two gold statues they found in the radioactive bunker last session, but Electrochromia was able to convince them they could make more money by finding an antiquities dealer, rather than someone that would just melt it down for gold. The real reason though was that Electrochromia wanted to keep the statue for later in a bid to maybe ingratiate themselves with the Princes, still holding on to hope that they might be able to be convinced to let them become an actual Prince.

Klort then mentioned he could get the party a good price on supplies, calling upon a begrudging contact of his heeding from the Three Sticks. Klort had helped protect the trader from assault by leveraging his status as a Prince, but once Klort was found out to be a fraud, those same thugs ransacked this guy's place. Regardless of their troubled past, he was still able to get the party a deal, selling them 11 sacks of basic supplies for $1 each, in addition to 1 sack of fancier supply for $10 since Electrochromia needed some extra provisioning.

Leaving the Citadel

After fully loading up, the party headed due South towards Potsherd Crater, which should be just a day's trek before they reach the glass house. From his racing days, Rick was familiar of an off-road trail that went directly from the Citadel to the Crater, though they would have to be careful as it was rumoured to be populated by Lime Lomads.

They continued along the path through pallid scrub-grasses, the ground beneath them crunching with the sound of stomped ceramic. There was not a cloud in the sky, though there were occasional bouts of intense, but short-lived rain, seemingly coming from nowhere. After almost a week on the trail, they see rising ahead a jagged rim of white stone. It was flat and looks almost tooled in some way, but also distinguishable natural.

Potsherd Crater

As they got closer, they noticed a little old lady doddering towards them in the direction they came from, walking with a hefty cane. Klort greeted her and she responded with a warm, but sad smile, telling the party that there is nothing of use in the crater and that the miners down there are unfriendly and don't answer questions. She asked them a number of questions on why they are going that direction. Rick was able to convince her that they are a group of rock climbers hoping to get an adrenaline rush, which he corroborated by showing his crash helmet and rope.

After finishing the conversation, they took a switchback trail going down into the crater, the sounds of the miners echoing throughout the area. Not wanting to further complicate the mission or delay their arrival, they decided to simply take a rest in the center of the crater before then continuing South to their destination, not engaging with anyone else.

Arrival at the Glass House

Following a day's travel further South, they finally arrived at the glass house. More than just a house though, it was a whole compound. The central building was an overgrown, modernist structure made with exposed steel beams and glass, with various protruding sections as well as a small zen garden to the side. There were a few smaller buildings on the property too, as well as porticoes and gazebos.

The glass house

The party entered through a large, metal gate which has already been opened, the lock having been smashed in a crude manner. The foliage was out of control there, the grass rising up to their chest, while the smell of rotting flowers permeated throughout.

Immediately to their right upon entering was a large, multi-bay garage. The side door was locked, so upon entering they turned on the bright fluorescent lights, illuminating a speedboat, motorcycle, off-road car, luxury car, and a race car. Upon further inspection though all seem to have been gutted for parts.

Further along the driveway were two little A-frame cottages. Klort snuck up through the grass to each of them, peering through the windows to see what was inside. The first one was very sparely furnished, everything inside being of muted tones, while the other home was almost too colourful, looking as if a rainbow vomited over everything. Klort decided to enter the colourful home to take the comforter from the bed, which seemed to be very well made and of exceptional comfiness.

The party then continued up to the main building, the rooms of which could be clearly seen through the glass walls. Rather than entering through the front door, they walked towards a two-story gazebo to the side which connected to the house via an elevated walkway. As they climbed up the gazebo, they noticed the walls were adorned with handmade wooden plaques with insightful poetry ingrained into them. Klort still was carrying the blanket from earlier, so he opened it up and filled it with the wooden plaques.

Crossing across the decorative walkway to the main building, they entered through a glass door, leading to a small foyer with three doors adjacent to it and a stairway leading downstairs.

Going room to room, they start looking everywhere they can. From a guest bedroom they find a big, abstract art statue of a unicorn made of bakelite, from which they chop the head off as a souvenir. In another guest bedroom they find an ornate, carved ivory table, which Rick picks up. The third room was a fancy, mahogany office, with the merchant Satrasco herself slumped over a chair; a large, cauterized hole in her face and a blaster pistol in her hand. Electrochromia rummaged through the files to see if they could find anything of note, but it seemed conspicuously devoid of any important documents, as if someone had already taken everything of value. Before leaving the room, Klort pockets the blaster pistol.

The Environment Be Getting Angry

At this point they noticed the wind outside becoming much more aggressive, shaking the building while simultaneously the smell of decaying foliage got stronger. Still wanting to get some more loot, they decided to stay a bit longer, but started to go faster in their search. Not wanting to waste any extra time than was needed, at that point they split up, with Klort and Rick going downstairs while Bangle and Electrochromia continued upstairs.

Upstairs, they first went to a fancy dining room, which they loot a set of fancy China from, and then a room with a large bed. When Bangle goes to lay on the bed, it the frame seemed to bump against something metal at the back of the bed. Intrigued, the two of them moved the bed aside to investigate, revealing a large combination safe behind the headboard. Eventually, using the atomsite hand mirror Electrochromia had used to talk with the ghosties in session 2, they were able to crack the lock of the safe, which contained 8 bars of silver.

Downstairs, they first found a small, mostly-looted museum, filled with a number of curios of negligible value for non-collectors. They then entered a small dining room, in the center of which had a head-sized cube sitting on a pedestal. Klort walked up and touched it, which lead it to project upon one wall a bright blue light depicting a number of images with descriptions. One had the image of well-dressed woman smiling in front of a factory, with its description detailing the trials and tribulations of a determined woman who worked her way to the top. There were a dozen or so other images with descriptions, half of which seem to be about hard-working business women, a third about romance, while the last couple seemed to be action adventures.

Upon grabbing the cube, the building shook even more, the wind seemly screaming in anger. Taking that as their cue, the four of them rendezvoused together at the entrance and quickly sorted out their things. Before leaving, Electrochromia hurriedly walks into the garage and wheeled the motorcycle out, attaching it to the back of the cart in hopes they could later use it to help EAGLE reconstruct his beloved motorcycle.

And with that, the party headed out as fast as they could manage, not wanting to stick around to find out what force the wind precluded.

Our travels for the session.

Caravan Inventory Tracking

This is the first time I am including a tallying of what we are carrying on the caravan, but I think it will be helpful to include going forward, especially this time since we got a lot of loot this session.

Items which are large enough to be tallied on the caravan sheet are counted in number of sacks. Each member of the caravan must consume one sack of supply per session.

Given that the inventory can vary throughout the course of play, note that anything marked with a '+' is something gained this session, while anything marked with a '–' is something lost this session.

Capacity: 13
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 2   Mule
 3   Ramshackle Cart
 4   Party (1 slot per person)
+0   Broken motorcycle (pulled like trailer)
----------
Load: 13
+11  supply, basic
+1   supply

weekly consumption
-3   supply, basic
-1   supply

loot from glass house
+1   wooden engraved signs wrapped in blanket
+1   unicorn statue head
+1   fancy china dinnerware
+1   8 bars of silver
+1   fancy projector cube

Cash and Debt

Cash:
 $1252
-$21
Total
 $1231

Debt:
 $11120
+$160   (weekly interest, Last Chair Saloon)
Total
 $11280

#UVG #ActualPlay

Session was played on 31 March 2023.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
Blind Diode Jefferson Electric Sheep Herder Sometimes pretends to be blind; he is not. Lost his flock to a bunch of lime nomads. Quick on his feet and comes up with some brilliant ideas, but knows nothing when it comes to staying out of debt.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.

That Didn't Go as Planned

Last session the party had made there way to the site where supposedly a great goblet of power was buried beneath. Unfortunately though it seems the area is heavily irradiated, so they must proceed with caution. Iggy was still back at camp recovering from his wounds and radiation exposure, while EAGLE was told to hang back, lest he become too enamoured with the “power” of the site and turn into one of the ghosties we met last time. Luckily for Electrochromia, Jefferson finally finished his reboot cycles and came back online, so they two of them could decide where to go from here.

Given the irradiated nature of the site, the two decide it would be best for Jefferson to continue digging down (since he is a robot and probably won't die of radiation) while Electrochromia scouts the area around. As Jefferson digs, the ceramic-like soil breaks like hard mud, making it slow going. While he is digging, Jefferson starts shouting up to the ghosties various stories of wrangling loop sheep. After 2 hours of digging, Jefferson slams his shovel down and it goes clean through to a cavity beneath, revealing a hollow cavern.

Moving to investigate, Jefferson stakes some rope and snakes it into the hole, lowing himself down into it. Since he is a robot, Jefferson is able to see in the darkness, but it is as if you took a very low quality image that is then upscaled and looks weird, so it is definitely not the most accurate picture. He finds himself in a cavernous foyer with a big indusial blast door built into one side of it, with no clear boundary between the rock and steel. Metal stairs with railings lead to a set of metal double doors and a heavy bulkhead.

Meanwhile, Electrochromia starts to scout about the area to confirm their location. They are quickly able to find the road which, if their map is correct, should lead them to the Citadel in two day's walking distance.

Arriving back at camp and rendezvousing with Jefferson, the two discuss what they have found. Electrochromia uses the mirror to ask the leader about how to enter this underground bunker. He flexes his bicep, kissing it, making a gesture suggesting this is the only key that is needed. At hearing this, Jefferson goes back in the hole and walks up to the door, standing at a 45 degree angle to the door to shoot the lock out, easily breaking it. The door slowly swings open, creaking and letting out the thick, acrid smell of oil and dust. Donning the walls on either side are two large metal shelves, each housing a single golden trophy. Everything in the room seems to be covered with a thin oily substance, along with lush green vines wrapped around. Up ahead the room narrows into a passage, with metallic scraping sounds echoing from further down the hallway. Scrawled on the back of the door smeared with oil is a word in a bastardised machine-like language saying “leave”.

Not wanting to get himself killed, Jefferson slowly walks out and heads back to the surface. Upon meeting with Electrochromia and being showered with questions, he insists that he found nothing of value in the bunker (conveniently forgetting to mention the golden trophies). Electrochromia does not hide their disbelief, but also is not sure about going down themselves given the heavy radiation. In the following moments though, Electrochromia very much starts to psych themselves up.

Sure, I will probably die of cancer at a young age, but hey, you know Porcelain Princes can have multiple bodies, so I can just buy a new one! Well I'm not really a Prince, but these guys don't know that. I am Electrochromia 2-step after all, meaning I should have another body. Maybe if I go back to the Citadel I can even convince them to make me an actual Prince. Yeah! I'll buy so many bodies I'll be invincible!!!!

All the while this is happening Jefferson is awkwardly standing by as Electrochromia is whispering to themselves and jumping around as if they are about to fight. Eventually she looks to Jefferson and proclaims “I'm ready, let's do this!” and almost leaps into action, clearly trying to act before the gravity of the situation can really sink in.

Once the two of them get back into the bunker, they start to investigate, using the motorcycle headlight of THE POWER as a flashlight. Of course Electrochromia immediately notices the trophies and proceeds to look them over more intently. One looks like an atom, while the other is in the shape of an eagle spreading it’s wings with a star superimposed upon it. The eagle statue has some writing upon it indicating it is some military award of some point, in some way involving science.

After discussing for a bit, both of them continue further along the passage till they get to the end where it takes a sharp turn to the left. Jefferson uses the mirror to peak around looking down the hallway, which shows another door and also the source of the scraping noises: a medium-sized cart heading toward the party being pulled by two large cockroaches as they are guided by a lumpy, greyish-skinned, child-sized human.

The creature and roaches walk up to the doorway nearby. The lumpy one knocks on the door and says something which seems to approximate “dinner is ready”. As they get closer, the cart comes into focus, revealing it as a large, ceramic bathtub filled up with a viscus, crude oil. The tub is just being dragged across the floor, with no wheels, which was the source of metallic scraping. The lumpy one enters through the door with roaches and the tub, leaving the hallway empty.

The party quietly sneaks past the door down the hall till about halfway down there are 2 doors, one on each side of the hallway. They open the left door, which leads to another hallway with even thicker vine growth, culminating in a large room with what appears to be a large pool of dark, shiny liquid in the centre; the vines seem to emanate from this pool. Jefferson says, “I don’t like this” and they close the door, turning around to open the door across the hall: it was not a good idea. Both of them get blasted with hyper-intense radiation, which immediately drops Electrochromia unconscious. Jefferson shrugs, closes the door, and grabs his friend, jogging out of the bunker and climbing up the rope with the two gold trophies.

They probably won't be coming back here for some time.

This is the map of the areas we explored this session.

Cash and Debt

No change this session. The group did find two golden trophies though, which they will probably be able to sell later on.

Cash:
 $1252
Total
 $1252

Debt:
 $11120
Total
 $11120

#UVG #ActualPlay

Session was played on 17 March 2023. In the future these recaps will be posted following each session.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
EAGLE Emerald City Begpacker An old, retired biker who's beloved motorcycle, THE POWER, got smashed. He carries around pieces of the bike to hopefully one day repair it. He also has a custom-made, unpainted 25mm miniature of himself making out with THE POWER.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.
Ignatius Górnik XXXVII (Iggy) Dwarf Unionist A conservative dwarf who left the union when leadership tried to change an old tradition. Justifies his journeys into the grasslands by citing Ignatius XVIII having done so. Rolled up his old union card to smoke a joint.

I Think We Got Irradiated

With their newfound $1300 the group got from selling the last metal, they decide to buy 6 bags of fancy supplies (which conveniently come with happy meal toys) for $8 each ($48 total), before heading out to our next destination. Then they start heading West in the direction of the Potsherd Crater.

They are interrupted on their way by a small procession of a dozen flower princesses (basically young adult Madeline-esc. school girls) all wearing white in a caravan. They offer us flower crowns, which are accepted by EAGLE and Iggy, but Electrochromia refuses since is already wearing a mask. The flower princesses get agitated at the refusal and leave. EAGLE tries to eat one of the flowers and his mouth starts to go numb, so he spits it out and takes off the crown. Iggy continues wearing it and proceeds to develop deep stigmata-like rashes along his head and becomes quite sickly.

The group continues on for another 5 days or so until they encounter a slow-moving band of radioactive-looking ghosties. One of the things Electrochromia was able to learn from the Princes before being expelled was the gift of vanity, so using the Porcelain mirror from this time they are able to see the true nature of these ghosts. This shows them to be a troop of ancient soldiers. The standard bearer holds a banner with the symbol of a goblet, which Iggy recognises from old Dwarven tales to be the group perpetually in search of an ancient goblet of power. Electrochromia is able to barely talk with them using some bits of an old language (Latin equivalent) and the leaders tells them that the goblet is already found, so if they want it, they can follow them to this treasure. They decide to abandon the path and follow.

They follow the ghosties 5 days Northwest till they arrive at a spot of shale-like porcelain. The leader of the ghosties offers us a shovel, which manifests into a real WW2-esc. trench shovel upon taking it. EAGLE digs till hitting concrete, unearthing a plaque which writes “… a place of honour”. As they dig, their skin gradually starts to develop what looks like a sunburn while Iggy who was already sick starts to feels even worse. Electrochromia asks the leader again for elaboration on if it was the goblet that changed them into these ghosts. In response, he takes off his mask to reveal a face that looks as if it has melted, after which he has all the men take off their masks, revealing themselves to be animated skeletons.

Looks like the groups has gotten themselves a nice dose of radiation poisoning.

Our travels for the session.

Cash and Debt

Cash:
 $1300
-$48    (fancy supplies)
Total
 $1252

Debt:
 $10960
+$160   (another week of interest Last Chair Saloon)
Total
 $11120

#UVG #ActualPlay

Session was played on 10 March 2023. In the future these recaps will be posted following each session.

Roster

Characters Failed Career Description
Blind Diode Jefferson Electric Sheep Herder Sometimes pretends to be blind; he is not. Lost his flock to a bunch of lime nomads. Quick on his feet and comes up with some brilliant ideas, but knows nothing when it comes to staying out of debt.
EAGLE Emerald City Begpacker An old, retired biker who's beloved motorcycle, THE POWER, got smashed. He carries around pieces of the bike to hopefully one day repair it. He also has a custom-made, unpainted 25mm miniature of himself making out with THE POWER.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.

Debt and More Debt

The only thing initially bringing this group together was their semi-regular stops at the cat cafe, which is famous for serving psychedelic cat poop coffee. One particular night the group finds themselves together through a collective psychedelic trip. Not much is remembered from that night, but all they know is that when they came to the night morning, the cat cafe told them they are now $10,000 in debt.

Forced together by happenstance, the group tries to find some leads on how they might begin to pay this enormous debt. Through Electrochromia’s perceived status, the group is able to get some fresh intel on a recently deceased Prince with quite the estate (a glass house) to their name located near the Potsherd Crater. Knowing that others would likely soon be closing in on the estate, the group decides to head West towards the site to hopefully salvage as much loot as they can before others clean the place out.

They meet up with an old “friend” of Electrochomia and are able to secure an off-the-books loan from him of 3 mules ladened with supplies, with the understanding that he will be given a cut of the profits upon their return.

The three of them start on their journey West, but first stop at the Last Chair Saloon. They decide to purchase some last metal for $400 since they had heard it could be sold for $800 each at the Low Road and the High. The loan for this is secured by Jefferson at the most atrocious of loan conditions: 20% interest for every week until being repaid.

Right after the loan conditions were agreed to, Jefferson has the lovely idea of dispossessing the pigs (at the saloon) of their trough, using it along with some scrap wood on the property as well as the spare parts of THE POWER (EAGLE’s motorcycle) to assemble a wheelbarrow to carry some extra supplies.

On their way to The Low Road and the High, the group encounters a small pack of prairie dogs with telescoping metal protrusions for eyes that block the path. EAGLE tries attempts to howl to intimidate them, but the howl comes out more as a whimper, marking the group as easy prey to the prairie dogs. A small fight ensues, but it is over quickly after Electrochromia charges in on muleback and EAGLE rushes in kicking as many aside as possible.

With the threat taken care of, the group continues on to The Low Road and the High. Upon arriving, they quickly start to talk amongst the few merchants that had gathered to sell the last metal. It turns out it is actually the Porcelain Citadel where the real profit can be made in selling last metal, not here, but through some negotiation and a leveraging of status, Electrochromia is able to secure a price of $650 each, which is $500 in profit total (initially bought both for $800, sold both for $1300). Though with the interest of the loan being so high, they will likely either make even or end up with even more debt than before.

Map of our travels for the session.

Cash and Debt

Cash:
 $0
+$1300  (selling last metal)
Total
 $1300

Debt:
 $10000
+$800   (loan from Last Chair Saloon)
+$160   (interest from loan)
Total
 $10960

#UVG #ActualPlay

Art by Luka Rejec.

Earlier this month we started a sandbox campaign set in the Ultraviolet Grasslands (UVG), a setting book by Luka Rejec depicting a surrealist world inspired by psychedelia and black metal. Our referee for these sessions is NondairyGiant, with myself being one of the players. This is the introductory post to what will be a series of actual plays documenting our journey through the grasslands.

Regarding mechanics, we are using the skeleton system provided in UVG as well as Into the Grasslands, which is an Into the Odd hack flavoured to the world of UVG. There is an additional fatigue mechanic we use that functions to lower all stats by one per point of fatigue.

The game is being run as a sandbox with players / characters being free to come and go as per their availability, with the GM always remaining constant. Below is a table I will keep updated of all the characters that have so far appeared in session.

Characters Failed Career Description
Angus McMasters Anthropology Assistant An inquisitive student of anthropology whose research has been put on hold after his advisor was executed by a band of “flamboyant” scavengers.
Bangle Wizard Slayer Comes from a family of potato farmers that were driven out of business when a wizard came to town and created an infinite potato well. Just graduated wizard slaying school to get his revenge, but is now buried in student debt.
Blind Diode Jefferson Electric Sheep Herder Sometimes pretends to be blind; he is not. Lost his flock to a bunch of lime nomads. Quick on his feet and comes up with some brilliant ideas, but knows nothing when it comes to staying out of debt.
EAGLE Emerald City Begpacker An old, retired biker who's beloved motorcycle, THE POWER, got smashed. He carries around pieces of the bike to hopefully one day repair it. He also has a custom-made, unpainted 25mm miniature of himself making out with THE POWER.
Electrochromia 2-Step Porcelain Pretender Tried to pass as a Porcelain Prince; it did not go well. Despite being outcast as a fraud, they still continue on acting as if they are a Prince, clearly not having learnt their lesson. Can also be rather arrogant.
Garth Dwarf Unionist A blue-bearded dwarf that sold out his union for a grudge.
Ignatius Górnik XXXVII (Iggy) Dwarf Unionist A conservative dwarf who left the union when leadership tried to change an old tradition. Justifies his journeys into the grasslands by citing Ignatius XVIII having done so. Rolled up his old union card to smoke a joint.
Klort Porcelain Pretender Went to the Citadel to try and become a Porcelain Prince, but was found out to be a fraud. Is now mentally scarred after being shown enigmatic images of his death.
Oozlon Pink Bard Plays a guitar which somehow is always horribly out-of-tune.
Rick Danger Rod Racer Was a hot-shot electric horse racer. Performed a once-in-a-lifetime stunt that wrecked his ride; and he would do it again.
Severus Killdeere Anthropology Assistant Academic that complains about having his stipend cut off. Has a bowl-cut unironically.

For reference, I play as Electrochromia 2-step.

#UVG #ActualPlay